the joys of christmas...and not owning a garage

[sik8v@netscape.net (rhys)]

i love christmas. i love snow.
i dont like snow when im lying under my car in a friend's abandoned 
driveway!

so today i decide to fly up to where my car is stored and take the 
oilpan off. ok, its cold at like 5 degrees (like 38 f?). whatever, i'm a 
real man. i love my car.

i drive so far that i can see my car...and boom the temp drops to -1 (28 
f???). again, i figure "i can handle it. its just a little cold"
i pull into the driveway and unload the truck.
so i jack the car up, make sure everything is solid, and get underneath. 
i take out the first 2 bolts holding the oilpan on. "this wont be so 
hard" i say to myself. the bolts were actually very loose, not good.

i work my way around the pan. leaving a bolt on at each corner so that 
it doesnt fall on my head when i lose the last bolts (thinking, 
thinking, always thinking). i cant feel my fingers, or my face. for the 
last 10 minutes i've been lying in a puddle of leaked anti-freeze and 
water that -should- be frozen. i have an inch of snow built up on my 
lower torso. i can handle it. i'm a man.
i get to the last 2 bolts, between the tranny and oilpan. i read 
patrick's technote and brought the skinniest socket i had. it 
fits....barely. i start to work on the bolt closest to the cockpit. it 
comes about 3/4 way out, and all of a sudden stops. puzzled, i try 
tightening it a bit and then losening it again...well i cant hold the 
ratchet against the bolt hard enough to actually turn it.
at that point i hadnt yet given up hope. i'd driven 4KMs and spent 15 
minutes lying in a puddle of slush to give up now? i think NOT.

i head back to the truck and warm up a bit. temp now read -3C.

still freezing my ass off, i head back to the car. i'm very determined 
to get this blasted thing off today!!!  ok, so i get the stubborn bolt 
out. i do a happy dance. moving on the the last, final bolt i realize 
that...BLAST...my socket it too wide. i rifle through my toolbox, 
looking desperately for a skinnier socket!! but no, this is the only one 
i have. i try again, this time with more swearing. no go  :(

so i pack everything up and head back to the truck. change out of my 
(now green, and soaked through) sweatshirt and head home.
once home i get dry, have a coffee, and whine to everyone i know about 
how that stupid godamned car is out to ruin me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS list, from Rhys the failing mechanic, and Rix the evil, 
broken rocco.