the joys of christmas...and not owning a garage

[drew@scirocco.cs.uoguelph.ca (Drew MacPherson)]

Sorry man.  Anything above -10C is a heat wave, you should be working on 
your car in short sleeves.

I once did a rear brake line on my wife's golf at -20C with a 30mph wind 
driving snow squalls.  I had snow in my underwear by the time I was done.  
Almost as bad as when I pulled the motor from my 84 Jetta GLI #1 - working 
upstairs in the barn during a January cold snap when the mercury never 
cleared -20C during the day and was hitting -35C at night.  Gloves?  What 
the hell are they?  The only good thing was you never had to worry about 
losing wrenches, because they stuck to your HAND!

Merry Christmas from the Great White North (on the fifth day of Christmas 
my true love gave to me FIVE golden touques, four puonds of back-bacon, 
three french toasts, two turtlenecks, and a beer!)

Drew

On Tue, 24 Dec 2002, rhys wrote:

> i love christmas. i love snow.
> i dont like snow when im lying under my car in a friend's abandoned 
> driveway!
> 
> so today i decide to fly up to where my car is stored and take the 
> oilpan off. ok, its cold at like 5 degrees (like 38 f?). whatever, i'm a 
> real man. i love my car.
> 
> i drive so far that i can see my car...and boom the temp drops to -1 (28 
> f???). again, i figure "i can handle it. its just a little cold"
> i pull into the driveway and unload the truck.
> so i jack the car up, make sure everything is solid, and get underneath. 
> i take out the first 2 bolts holding the oilpan on. "this wont be so 
> hard" i say to myself. the bolts were actually very loose, not good.
> 
> i work my way around the pan. leaving a bolt on at each corner so that 
> it doesnt fall on my head when i lose the last bolts (thinking, 
> thinking, always thinking). i cant feel my fingers, or my face. for the 
> last 10 minutes i've been lying in a puddle of leaked anti-freeze and 
> water that -should- be frozen. i have an inch of snow built up on my 
> lower torso. i can handle it. i'm a man.
> i get to the last 2 bolts, between the tranny and oilpan. i read 
> patrick's technote and brought the skinniest socket i had. it 
> fits....barely. i start to work on the bolt closest to the cockpit. it 
> comes about 3/4 way out, and all of a sudden stops. puzzled, i try 
> tightening it a bit and then losening it again...well i cant hold the 
> ratchet against the bolt hard enough to actually turn it.
> at that point i hadnt yet given up hope. i'd driven 4KMs and spent 15 
> minutes lying in a puddle of slush to give up now? i think NOT.
> 
> i head back to the truck and warm up a bit. temp now read -3C.
> 
> still freezing my ass off, i head back to the car. i'm very determined 
> to get this blasted thing off today!!!  ok, so i get the stubborn bolt 
> out. i do a happy dance. moving on the the last, final bolt i realize 
> that...BLAST...my socket it too wide. i rifle through my toolbox, 
> looking desperately for a skinnier socket!! but no, this is the only one 
> i have. i try again, this time with more swearing. no go  :(
> 
> so i pack everything up and head back to the truck. change out of my 
> (now green, and soaked through) sweatshirt and head home.
> once home i get dry, have a coffee, and whine to everyone i know about 
> how that stupid godamned car is out to ruin me.
> 
> MERRY CHRISTMAS list, from Rhys the failing mechanic, and Rix the evil, 
> broken rocco.
> 
> 
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