Update on the Son of Crankshaft Bolt Funnnn!!!!

[bag at frys.com (Dave)]

 Thanks for all of the great replies,  and I agree that Anson's is by
far the best
response....particularly among all the responses I've experienced from
people named
"Anson", and I did try it without heat first and the reason I was
torching was to melt the
JB weld that those crazy Germans use as Loc-Tite..... but I'm straying
from the point
here.

     After 2 months of using the suggested milk jug which, of course,
required a special
$100 VW tool to expand my willy for a correct fit, I still cannot get
the %&@! crank
bolt off.  Now, I should mention that I have been using  DOT 3  milk
which I purchase
from the local recycler for $1.99 for a 5 gallon pail. It doesn't really
matter right now
anyway because the guy who owns the car  had the driver-side  door open
while backing
up a driveway and caught it on a post.  Tweaked the fuck out of the door
and the quarter
panel. (nice clean white '84 Wolfie...tsk).  I bolted on a black
junkyard door and now it
looks like a damn pig car. Also,  my butt still hurts from Pick 'N Pull
raping me for the
door.  It's not even my car!  No wonder I'm charging so much for this
job.   Anyhow, it's
in the shop now cuz I can't do body work unless you like your car to
look like a drunk
3rd grader bondo'd it.  Maybe by the time they're done getting the door
aligned and the
q-panel cleaned up,  I'll have forgotten why I wanted to get that
crankshaft bolt off in the
first place......oh yeah, to replace front seal....how impressive..

 So I'm off the hook for a little while anyhow.  Maybe I can work on MY
ride for a
change and try out my new Snap-On combos that I bought instead of paying
Comcast
this month. The old lady is gonna shit when she finds out there's no
more Woman's Snipe
Network, or whatever that lesbo show is  she's always watching.  I still
got a good 2"
reach on her so I ain't worried.  Actually, she's  really a fine figure
of a woman, good
teeth plus a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.

     What was I talking about?  Um...oh yeah,  my sled:

     I'm going to do the struts, springs (all stock Pep Boys, so don't
wet your pants),  and
maybe put some polys in so it can handle killer like my pal's Scirocco
and be all creaky
sounding too.

You'll probably want to hear all about all that  when I'm done...  No?
Fine then.

---Dave
--'83 Four-Door Diesel Rabbit
--'80 Dasher Wagon ('85 GTI Oil Sender upgrade)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Anson Clement" <ansonivan@yahoo.com>
To: <scirocco-l@scirocco.org>
Sent: Wednesday, September 03, 2003 7:59 AM
Subject: Re: frozen crankshaft sprocket bolt (now pg-13)


> Holy crap guy! Will you stop heating the bolt already? Heat causes
expansion yes? so in effect you are making a bad situation badder.... or
is
that worser..... whatever.
>
> What you described is similar to sticking your willy in a milk jug (or
for
those less blessed, a beer bottle) and watching footage of britney
spears
make out with madona..... yea I guess that might not work for some....
but
anyways you get the idea..... willy swell no come out of bottle.
>
> Where was I? ......
>
> Anson