Something here is swelling

[smithma7 at gmail.com (Mike Smith)]

Originally from Chris Bennett.  Got bounced by the list.

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Rum... Jager... An absolutely obscene bar tab... That "omigawd a cat
crapped in my my mouth" feeling this morning, along with no concept of
how much money we spent.

God I couldn't live here.

Scirocco Content:  The very cute bartender, whom I might add had a
higher percentage of plastic parts--God Bless 'er--than a new VW...
had absolutely NO IDEA what a Scirocco was, but however, was a self
proclaimed VW lover, and was pretty sure she had seen a GTI once.
Despite these negative aspects, she was very easy on the eyes, and had
helped to save me from the crazy MILF.

Who the hell was the crazy MILF you ask?  Well for 45 she was
stunning, but this lady was staying at the Hilton, even though she had
a ranch outside of Las Vegas, propety near Portland, she was divorced,
she's republican, she loved me, I reminded her of two of her best
friends--one of whom was gay but she had outgrown him--ya know?  She
loved Bono and U2, but had no idea what Sunday bloody Sunday was
about, I had the distinct impression that she believed they had one
maybe two albums, she believed I was patronizing her because I said "I
know" once but she still loved me, she doesn't drink, she loves
Fleetwood Mac, Van Halen, blah blah blah, but Bono is still her
favorite...

It took longer for you to read this than for her to tell me in great
detail and more.  She didn't come up for air--ever.  I am quite sure I
suffered a stroke in this 45 seconds or so.  My eyes glazed pupils
fixed and dilated.  Finally she stopped and was like borderline
glaring at me--"You're not talking... say something"

So I said the only thing I could think of.

"U2 sucks."

The look was priceless.  And the bartender, God Love 'er, backed me up
and said "yea they do, and you know Bono came out of the closet
recently right?"

The crazy MILF got mad and left.  Of course I don't think U2 sucks, or
that Bono is gay, and if he was so what he's a good mucisian.  The
life story in 30 seconds was scary--it was like that movie with the
speed dating--I just wanted to get my drink on, yo.  lol

chris


85 Scirocco 16v (conversion) Burgundy
87 Scirocco 16v Tornado Red
04 R32 Reflex Silver

--
Mike
'86 red 16v (der Jahrtausendfeierfalke)