[WTF] "Can we work something out?" (long)

[Larry" <rocco16v@netzero.com (Larry)]

Man, that just plain sucks.  (you shoulda' told him "NO, you CAN'T take a
leak!  Hold it until you get to the station or go in your CAR!"  :)
Hope the insurance is not a hassle.

Larry

> Sooo,
>
> Last night I'm in my office around 1:10 AM. When I hear a beep and
> several loud smashes. I hesitate for a minute because I really wasn't up
> for looking at any carnage. Then, my wife knocks on my door and tells me
> to go outside. When I get out there. I notice that my 81 Scirocco that I
> have put close to $ 10,000 into isn't where it used to be. Instead of
> it's usual spot it is snuggled closely to my wife's 96 Jetta. "Hmmm..."
> I think as I approach our parking lot (we live above a hair salon and
> share a parking lot with MY insurance company). When I approach I notice
> an SUV with a flat front tire trying to flee the scene. I approach the
> inebriated gentleman's truck asking him to "please step out of the
> vehicle" or something to that effect. He makes the mistake of rolling
> down his window (his door was locked). I reach in a take hold of his
> jacket and explain to him how imperative it was to his health and
> well-being to remove himself from the car (he was buckled in, and no
> matter how hard I tugged, I couldn't extract him). He continues to try
> and escape with me holding onto him. I then reiterate the importance of
> his timely extraction. Realizing that I was less than pleased, he
> agreed.
>
> My wife calls the police as I proceed to put my fists through the wooden
> fence that divides my yard and the detailer next door. I ask him "ARE
> YOU F&CKING STUPID!? ARE YOU DRUNK!?" He says "yes", but then quickly
> changes his story. "My tire blew out!" Here's what he did:
>
> Flew off the road and hit the front of our house (the salon part). In
> the process he ripped the iron bars from around their walkway right off
> the house, and manages to rip a beam holding the front porch up from
> it's roots. Then, he drove past our cars missing them by inches (my
> wife's account). He tries to get away through the detailers parking lot,
> but met a dead end. Then, he proceeds to back up through the wooden
> fence into my car, pushing it into the Jetta. Nice huh ? He then asks me
> if he can take a piss. I tell him "sure, why not!" I mean go ahead dude,
> you might as well piss on our property too...THEN, after my wife calls
> the police and I um "Restrain" him (noticed the capital "R"), he asks me
> "can we work something out..." Ummm..."Do you have about $ 50,000 on
> you? You f&cking piece of sh&t?!" He's in jail, I'm on about 2 hours
> sleep....
>
> Damage Report:
> Scirocco - Both rear quarter panels dented (pass. Side pretty smushed),
> bumper cover ripped off, hatch kinked a bit.
>
> Jetta - Pass. Quarter panel dented.
>
> Accidents stats:
> Scirocco - 1, I haven't even registered it yet
> Jetta - 7 that's right 7 ---AND--- We just got it back from the auto
> body shop! 2 were my wife and myself's fault.
>
> Welcome to New England!
>
> Later,
>
> Jason F. Snow
> Mobile: (781)223-5966
> Zodiac Systems
> Information Technology Consultant
>
>
>
>
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