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German language [was German cars...]
- Subject: German language [was German cars...]
- From: Scott Pidgeon <spidgeon@yahoo.com>
- Date: Mon, 28 Sep 1998 11:37:30 -0700 (PDT)
- ---Jason <jason@scirocco.org> wrote:
>
> Shree yeears in Tsjermany haeve halped me to lurn to schpeak fluent
> Tsjerman... und to heve a akssent lyke a real Tsjerman.
>
> Fluent.
>
> Jason
Hmm, now that you mention it...
>The European Union Commissioners have just announced that agreement
has
>been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
>communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
>
>As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
>English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
>five-year phased plan for what will be known as "Euro-English" or
"Euro"
>for short.)
>
>In the first year "s" will be used in place of the "soft c".
Sertainly,
>sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the "hard c"
will
>be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
>typewriters kan have one less letter.
>
>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
>troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
>"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
>
>In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted
>to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
>always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
>horible mes of the "silent e" in the languag is disgrasful, and they
>would go.
>
>By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
>"th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
>
>During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
>"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
>letters.
>
>After zis fifz yer, ve wil have a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
>no mor trubles or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
>ech ozer. Ze drem vi finali kum tru.
Scott
- ---Jason <jason@scirocco.org> wrote:
>
> At 11:26 PM 9/25/98 , Greg Frenzel wrote:
> >I seem to remember some academic basking-- uh bashing a little while
> >ago...
> >
> >hey how many of us crazy german car drivers actually speak german?
>
> Shree yeears in Tsjermany haeve halped me to lurn to schpeak fluent
> Tsjerman... und to heve a akssent lyke a real Tsjerman.
>
> Fluent.
>
> Jason
>
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