10 reasons why I hate my Mercedes Benz

[tudor@tvo.org (Michael Helms)]

Hi everyone,

More spam from yours truly.  Ten reasons why I hate my Mercedes Benz (and
thus want my Scirocco back):

1. Young women think a young man in a Mercedes is pretentious.
2. Old women think a young man in a Mercedes is equally pretentious.
3. Guys of all age hate you because their young/old woman is looking at
you (thinking about how pretentious you look, but their men don't know
that).
4. Lexus and Infiniti owners mutter obscenities under their breath at you.
5. The steering wheel is bigger than the wheel in a GMC school bus.
6. All your friends expect you to drive them around downtown while they
play with the power windows and wave at their friends.
7. Regardless of where you're looking from inside the car, you can always
see at least one chromed three pointed star to remind you of what you're
driving.
8. The warrenty has expired.
9. The new Mercedes with the rounded headlights make anything made before
1996 look like an "old" Mercedes.
10. Some asshole will invariably stop you in a parking lot and tell you
about his uncle's best friend's neighbour's plush velour 1976 Cadillac
Eldorado low rider with purple black lights and chromed everything - like
there's some common bond between square-headed Mercedes Benz drivers and
pompous, greasy, sweaty, gold-chain-clad American pigs who drive these
tanks on wheels.

Cheers,
- -- Michael Helms

'81 Scirocco - the fixer-upper
'86 Scirocco - the daily driver

Web Site:  http://home.ican.net/~dhelms/mike

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