Re: That @&*^@# Shift Light

[vagabond@netcom.ca]

> Man, youz guyz is going about this all wrong. Heres the REAL way to take
> care of that pesky little yeller light.
> What you'll need:
> 
> 1 Phillips screwdriver
> 1 hammer
> 1 pair of pliers. (only one, not two!)
> 1 pair of scissors. (Sharp. and don't run with them in your hands!)
> 1 ruler
> 1 roll of black electrical tape.
> 1 set of car keys
> 1 cup holder
> 1 can of beer. (Your choice of brands. Choose wisely.)
> 1 shop towel
> 1 assistant
> 
> Heres all the steps you'll ever need to fix this problem. After you have
> done this once, you will be the shift light masters!
> 
> Now its time to get to work.
> 
> Step #
> 
> 1) Bring all of the above with you out to the job site. Carefully unlock
> the door with the keys     and open the door nice and wide. Put the keys
> in your pocket or you'll loose them.
> 
> 2) Now, take the hammer, screwdriver and pliers and lay them in the floor
> of the car. These     are useless here, but it looks like your doing
> major surgery. They're for effect only.
> 
> 3) By now, you've worked up a terrible thirst. Crack open that beer and
> carefully place it in its cup holder so it don't git spilt.
> 
> 4) Carefully take the roll of black electrical tape and (I hope you got
> fingernails!) unspool out     a 3" long piece. Measure it with your
> ruler.
> 
> 5) Now with the scissors, cut the tape to length.  Heres where it gets
> tricky. It takes a trained     eye for the next few steps.
> 
> 6) Now, sitting in the drivers eat, like when your really driving,
> eyeball the cursed yellow         shift light and carefully place the
> tape over the light. Apply more tape as needed.
> 
> 7) Have the assistant take the shop towel and wipe your forehead.
> (Because by now, you've     worked up quite a sweat!)
> 
> And just like that, your all done! Now you can drive your car without
> being told when to shift! Shift when you wanna shift and how you wanna
> shift!!
> 
> BTW: this also works on VCR's, clock radios and some modern stoves.

 Ha ha ha, excellent advice!  I wish all manuals and instruction sets
were written like that!  :) I especially like the beer part!

vagabond
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