what to do when battery goes south

[Jason Brunberg <stoopid@idirect.com>]

Edward Wahl wrote:
> 
> So what happnens when someone lifts yer' battery?  Locked out?  Go through
> the trunk?

	Ahem...observe:

	0. Have the car brought home.
	1. Smash out driver's side window.
	2. Remove Corrado leathers...only quality for you.  Or were they the
Momos with 	Scroth harnesses?
	3. Remove stereo and speakers...all $10,000. of it
	4. Remove anything with "Momo" on it; seats, steering wheel, shifter
knob, 	shoes, gloves, etc.
	5. Locate hoist...remove engine(y'know, the one with all kinds of mods)
	6. Jack up car...remove wheels
	7. Remove spare...you had five of the same kind, right? 
	8. Remove exhaust
	9. Remove beesting
	10. Remove Euro lights and bumpers.
	11. Remove Bilstein coilovers
	12. Remove Alarm...hey, these guys were _pros_
	13. Store all of the above somewhere special
	14. Locate and/or create receipts for all of the above 
	15. Spray all kinds of slanderous and derrogatory remarks on the car
	16. Stand out in the cold in a  t-shirt and run up 20 flights of stairs 
	17. Call police then call insurance, and tell both of them that your
car has 		been completely raped and left on blocks in your garage (since
you've run up the 	stairs and stood out in the cold (if it's cold where
you are), you will sound 		sniffy and out of breath, like your whole
world has just collapsed around you)
	18. Go to police HQ and bring a kleenex with onion juice on it and keep
rubbing 	your nose and wiping your eyes...talk incoherently...they'll
eat it up.

	And, with my $60,000 cheque from the insurance company, I'll make me a
brand-spankin new mk1 VR6 Synchro Scirocco with all the trimmings.

	But, in case some punter steals my battery, or the damn thing goes
dead, I'll go in through the trunk like you said.

jason
the mad bastard
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